A Moon Will Rise From My Darkness

The past few weeks have been nothing less than challenging, confusing, and emotional.   There are a lot of feelings, and memories that have been brought up from my childhood that I was never able to really see, or even remember, for what they are until now.  Unfortunately, these memories have thrown me in to a state of emotional catastrophe.  Things that were hidden in my subconscious for decades.

My childhood was not easy.  Growing up in “that” household was not easy.  Looking back now, the decisions that I made as a teenager, and young woman were in direct response to the way I was treated, or the experiences that I went through during my younger years.

Truth be told, I was a pretty messed up person for many many years.  Allowing people to hurt me, enduring pain and continuing in situations that anyone who truly loved themselves would never have allowed themselves to stay in.  It is all starting to make sense now, but it doesn’t change the emotions I feel when I realize why I turned out the way I did.

I try to remain positive, and happy and remind myself that some days are just ‘bad’, but the reality is that life is one big blessing and that challenges are meant to be there so that you can be reminded of the good.  But there are some days that leave you feeling so defeated and overwhelmed that you don’t even know how to digest your thoughts so you are able to differentiate what makes sense, and what doesn’t.

When I am at my darkest I try to remind myself that they say that with pain comes healing.  Although you are feeling your lowest, the hope is that it can only get better from that point forward.  Fingers crossed.

 

Exactly Where I Am Meant To Be

 

I question my life sometimes.  I wonder where I am going, and where ill end up.  It feels like every time we get to “that” place in life, the place where we thought we longed to be, we feel like we need to push further, farther.  Unsatisfied?  or bored?  Why do we never feel like we have run through the finish line?

I remember when I was younger.  My goals were to get married, and have children, both of which I accomplished.  It may have taken a while longer than I had anticipated, but I made it, I am here, but I feel like I am supposed to be reaching for more, pushing myself further, setting new goals to reach, but what is it that needs to be accomplished?  What is it that I need to do to make my life satiating?

Sometimes along the way obstacles fall in your path, and you questions where you are going.  I sit here right now and wonder if this is where I am meant to be?  Did I grow up for all of those years and make it to that place that I always dreamed of?  Is this the place in life that I always wanted to be?  Did I make myself proud? Did I make my family proud? I am here, but sometimes it feel like I am missing steps, or I skipped the obvious along the way.

Life truly is a work in progress, and the sooner we realize this and just enjoy the journey, the sooner we will realize that is life and what it is truly about – enjoying the moments, and appreciating everything that they have to offer.

Mirror Mirror … Everyone Is Your Mirror

Everyone is your mirror. This is the greatest of all relationships secrets and the only one you really need to understand to transform all your relationships. Here it is again – every single person in your life is your mirror. What this means is that others are simply reflecting parts of your own consciousness back to you, giving you an opportunity to really see yourself and ultimately to grow. The qualities you most admire in others are your own and the same goes for those qualities you dislike. To change anything in your relationships, be the change you want to see.

Mirror Mirror on the Wall: Learn to recognise yourself in other people. Everything and everyone is your mirror. It is only when you understand what it truly means to see yourself reflected back at you, that there is no room for blame, there is no room for judgement and there is no room to feel like a victim of another person’s actions or words. There is only room for real love based on understanding and gratitude. Compromise comes easy, forgiveness is a given and growth is inevitable. While this truth applies to all of your relationships, from your family, to your friends and colleagues, and even to those you deem your “enemy”, it is your relationship with your significant other that enables you to take the closest, most accurate look at who you are.

When Only the Face Seems to Change: It is certainly no secret that all your intimate relationships tend to be similar. Surely you have noticed how the fundamentals seem to remain the same while only the face changes. The repetition of the same problems, the same feelings and the same insecurities often leave you despondent and even reluctant to try again. You surrender yourself to the belief that relationships are difficult and require much compromise and that the only relationship secret out there is luck, timing or even Divine Will. You can’t help but notice how what starts off with such hope often ends with no hope at all.

There is One Common Denominator: What you perhaps haven’t noticed though, is that in all these repetitive relationships there has always only been one common denominator – YOU. Whoever the person is that you have next to you, no matter how many times you change him or her, the fundamentals of your relationship will remain unchanged (albeit to varying degrees) because they are simply mirroring you. It can be no other way. This realisation may frustrate you at first and you may even reject the truth that everyone is your mirror. However, you will quickly come to see it as great news because it means that you too can enjoy those loving relationships that previously seemed out of reach. To do so, the only person you need to influence is yourself.

What are You Really Seeing in the Mirror: To internalise this truth, that everyone is your mirror, you must first understand it. Your relationships with others are your opportunity to experience yourself and grow. They are a perfect mirror of your inner relationship with yourself and the beliefs you have acquired about life and love. Everything you admire in another person belongs to you and the same goes for all that which you dislike. In order for you to recognise a certain quality in another, then it must be part of your consciousness. You could not see it otherwise. Essentially, the bottom-line cause of break-ups and divorce, is when one or both of the partners can no longer stand to see themselves in the other person. To best understand how everyone is your mirror, think in terms of these three categories: your beliefs, your qualities, and your actions.

1. Your Beliefs are Staring You in the Face: Your beliefs about relationships, about men, about women, about love and life in general are all there for you to see in your relationships. We have all acquired certain beliefs throughout our lifetime that cause us to react and act in certain habitual ways that either support us or don’t. This is most notable in our relationships because in order to experience anything or anyone you must first relate to it. For instance, if you believe that men or women are not to be trusted (no matter how trustworthy you are), or if you yourself have been willing to be the “other woman” or “other man” in the past, then by the Law of Attraction you will attract relationships in which a lack of trust is a major issue because that is where you have chosen to vibrate. Even if your partner is being faithful to you, you will look for reasons to prove otherwise and, as the saying goes, you always find what you are looking for.

Where Did Your Beliefs Come From? The problem is that you did not consciously choose many (if not any) of those beliefs that govern your experiences and relationships at the subconscious level. Instead, your beliefs were, unbeknown to you, handed to you by society, the media, your parents and your friends. There are also those beliefs that came part and parcel with your culture and upbringing, and the stricter your culture in the area of relationships, the more ingrained those specific beliefs. Since your relationships are based on those beliefs, your experiences only prove to re-enforce them for you, thereby creating something of a virtuous or vicious cycle depending on whether your beliefs support a healthy and balanced relationship or not.

2. Owning Up to Your Qualities: Every quality that you see in your partner, whether you admire it or not, is your mirror – it is showing you who you are. The more you dislike a certain quality, the more it is showing you a part of your consciousness that you are not acknowledging. For instance, if you dislike your partner’s jealous nature, you will find that you too are jealous perhaps not of him or her but of others. If your partner’s competitiveness annoys you, you will find that you too are competitive. If your partner’s negativity or insecurities get you down, you will find that you too have a negative nature and the same insecurities. The only reason that these qualities are annoying you is because they are also yours. As long as you do not acknowledge them as your own they will continue to frustrate you, while owning up to them provides you with the chance to grow.

When Positive Qualities Annoy You: Interestingly, you may find that even some positive qualities annoy you. For example, if your partner’s overly kind and giving nature frustrates you, it is showing you that you too want to become more kind and giving but are resisting doing so. Alternatively, your partners’ ability to forgive may make you uneasy. Instead of becoming frustrated, see it as an opportunity to learn forgiveness. This ties into why opposites appear to attract as explained later in this article.

3. Your Actions – How Do You Treat Yourself and Others? When your partner acts in a particular way that upsets you, you will find that you too act in the same way, most likely not towards him or her but towards yourself and probably others. The more a particular action frustrates you, the more it reflects a part of you that you are not owning. If your partner treats you with disrespect, look within yourself and see who you treat with similar disrespect, whether it be a friend, a family member or yourself. If your partner criticises you, you will find that you are critical of yourself and most probably of others. If your partner ignores your needs, you will find that you too ignore your own needs or those of others. Ultimately, you teach others how to treat you by how you treat yourself.

Reconciling Opposites Attract with Like Attracts Like: You may have heard that opposites attract and indeed this often appears to be the case. So how can relationships always be your mirror if opposites attract? The answer lies in the Law of Polarity that states that “everything is dual, everything has poles; everything has its pair of opposites; opposites are identical in nature, but different in degree”. In other words, qualities that appear to be opposites are in fact two extremes of the same quality. For instance hot and cold may appear to be opposite but are varying degrees of that which we call temperature. The same applies to all human qualities and emotions.

You may find that the quality you see in your partner appears to be the opposite of your own quality, but in fact it is the same quality expressed in a different way. It is still your mirror. For example, the introvert attracts the extrovert, the weak attracts the strong, the giving attracts the taking. Such seemingly opposite partners attract each other so that they can learn from each other and bring their own extreme quality into balance. In order to attract your opposite, you yourself have to be at the other end of the spectrum and so are unbalanced as far as that quality is concerned. Simply put, opposites attract in search of balance. When none of your qualities are at either extreme of the spectrum, then you can no longer attract its opposite.

Abusive Relationships are No Exception: This advice is aimed at healing and transforming your relationships. Emotionally and physically abusive relationships are no exception. Their reflection is no less accurate than that of any other relationship. At the root of abusive relationships you will usually find a severe lack of self-worth in the abused partner, which is re-iterated by their refusal to leave the abuser. The only way to rise above such relationships is through the power of self-love. In fact, it is the foundation of this great secret that everyone is your mirror.By Tania Kotsos

The Art Of Forgiveness | The Most Precious Gift To Yourself

I am the first to admit it – I let things fester, unnecessarily, to the point where I lose sleep, and dwell on things.  I get to the point where I attach all memories to a specific event, or person and I only see negative.  It turns all of my acquired human decency in prickly little attitude which takes away my shine.  It turns my happiness into frustration.  It take’s the quality of my joy and turns it into mediocre.  It take’s the authenticity out of me.

The thing about fairness in life, is that it just doesn’t happen.  You can take a look at your past and all the events that have bothered you to all different degree’s and you will learn, from your continued life experiences, that it just doesn’t happen.

There have been situations where I have sat there, literally for day’s, month’s, or in certain circumstances, years and thought that what someone has done to me has been so unfair.  No one in their wildest imagination would see their actions towards me justified by any means. I do tend to distance myself from people who hurt me, physically… but letting go and keeping your distance, mentally, is something that takes a little more discipline.

Do I believe in Karma?  Yes.  Did any of these individuals ever get what I felt they justly deserved to come back to them for treating me a certain way?  No.

Being imprisoned by these hurtful actions does not do anything except lock you into an emotional prison where you are left trapped, and unable to move forward in your own journey.

Don’t lose your joy.  Don’t function as a mediocre being when you try so hard to shine each and every day.

All the years you have waited for them to “make it up to you” and all the energy you expended trying to make them change (or make them pay) kept the old wounds from healing and gave pain from the past free rein to shape and even damage your life. And still they may not have changed. Nothing you have done has made them change. Indeed, they may never change. Inner peace is found by changing yourself, not the people who hurt you. And you change yourself for yourself, for the joy, serenity, peace of mind, understanding, compassion, laughter, and bright future that you get.”

Lewis B. Smedes 

The Art of Forgiving: When You Need To Forgive And Don’t Know How

Inspirational Quotes About Gratitude

1. “If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, “thank you,” that would suffice.” ~ Meister Eckhart

2. “The world has enough beautiful mountains and meadows, spectacular skies and serene lakes. It has enough lush forests, flowered fields, and sandy beaches. It has plenty of stars and the promise of a new sunrise and sunset every day. What the world needs more of is people to appreciate and enjoy it.” ~ Michael Josephson

3. “Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.” ~ Charles Dickens

4. “Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.” ~ Melody Beattie 

5. “He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has.” Epictetus

6. “Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude.” ~ Denis Waitley

7. “Gratitude is the sign of noble souls.” ~ Aesop

8. “Gratitude is the healthiest of all human emotions. The more you express gratitude for what you have, the more likely you will have even more to express gratitude for.” ~ Zig Ziglar 

9.“Wear gratitude like a cloak and it will feed every corner of your life.” ~ Rumi

10. “The deepest craving of human nature is the need to be appreciated.” William James

11. “At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.” ~ Albert Schweitzer

12. “Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.” Oprah Winfrey

13. “Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance.” ~ Eckhart Tolle

14. “Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings.” ~ William Arthur Ward 

15. “Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.” ~ William Arthur Ward 

16. “When a person doesn’t have gratitude, something is missing in his or her humanity.” ~  Elie Wiesel 

17. “When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around.” Willie Nelson

18. “If a fellow isn’t thankful for what he’s got, he isn’t likely to be thankful for what he’s going to get.” ~ Frank A. Clark

19. “When my body gets to the point where I can no longer function or feel gratitude, then I’ll leave it and become grateful again. But until then, I will appreciate what I have and not whine about what I don’t have. I will feel blessed by life and the opportunity to help others see that they are blessed, too.” ~ Bernie Siegel

20. “If you want to turn your life around, try thankfulness. It will change your life mightily.” Gerald Good

21. “I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought; and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.” G.K. Chesterton

22. “If you count all your assets, you always show a profit.” Robert Quillen

23. “Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn’t learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn’t learn a little, at least we didn’t get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn’t die; so, let us all be thankful.” ~ Buddha

24. “It is impossible to feel grateful and depressed in the same moment.” Naomi Williams

25. “Forget yesterday–it has already forgotten you. Don’t sweat tomorrow–you haven’t even met. Instead, open your eyes and your heart to a truly precious gift–today.” Steve Maraboli

26. “The only people with whom you should try to get even are those who have helped you. “ ~ John E. Southard

27. “You say grace before meals. All right. But I say grace before the concert and the opera, and grace before the play and pantomime, and grace before I open a book, and grace before sketching, painting, swimming, fencing, boxing, walking, playing, dancing and grace before I dip the pen in the ink.” ~ G.K. Chesterton

28. “This a wonderful day. I’ve never seen this one before.” Maya Angelou

29. “When we were children we were grateful to those who filled our stockings at Christmas time. Why are we not grateful to God for filling our stockings with legs?” ~ G.K. Chesterton

30. “You pray in your distress and in your need; would that you might pray also in the fullness of your joy and in your days of abundance.” ~ Khalil Gibran

4 Important Lessons You Learn Through Difficult Times, by MAURA HUGHES

While difficult times can feel like a deep dark hole that we can’t escape and we often wonder “Why is this happening to me?”, there is a silver lining to tough times. It’s through the difficult times in our life, that we are able to grow. It’s when we are tested that we are able to rise, push through and come out the other side stronger, braver and bet

No one wants to struggle. No one wants to even admit their struggling. We all want to have Photoshopped versions of our own lives that fit perfectly into an Instagram square. But life does not work like that. Every one of us will be faced with a variety of tough times in their life. It is one of the few things we can really count on.

The truth is, there are some important lessons in life that we are only taught through difficult times and they can become the silver lining to the darkness.

1. Who your real friends are.

It’s an unfortunate and often time brutal truth to learn that someone we once thought would be there no matter can’t be counted on. Difficult times have a unique way of trimming off the fat in our lives. If someone does not truly care, they will not make the effort to be there. End of story. The realization that someone you love doesn’t make you a priority can knock you off your feet but it will save you time and energy that would have been spent trying to be there for them in the future. Eventually, you will learn who really matters, you will be grateful for them and you will have cleared out some emotional space for someone who will be there for you, through thick and thin.

2. The depth of your strength.

“It builds character,” was my mom’s favorite response to any complaint I had growing up. As annoying as that line was, it is true. Nothing builds our strength like surviving difficulty. Nothing forces us to leverage what we have, dig deep and come up with every ounce of integrity, patience and strength like a hard time. When you survive something, your internal scoreboard registers it. Imagine as if your internal synapses are pushing an extra win into your win/loss column and the next time you go into battle, your will take an inventory of what your winning record is and bulk up your confidence that you can survive and thrive, no matter what you are facing.

3. What really matters in life. 

Difficult times tend to turn our worlds upside down and anything that is nailed down to the floor will go flying. Sometimes it’s comforting to know what actually does stick, what is still hanging in there after the world goes awry. Because when we’re right side up again, we’ll be able to look a little more closely at those things, take a bit better care of them and love them even more for being unmovable. Most of us spend most of our days worrying about everything but what we should be worrying about. But after a difficult time, we’re less likely to worry as much about the little things and focusing on those unmovable pieces in our life that really matter.

4. How to be grateful. 

Difficult times leave us with a lasting impression. They alter us and change the way we view our lives. We have learned who and what matters in our life and undoubtedly we have a greater appreciation for them. Surviving hardship gives us a broader perspective on what hardship really is. You will look back on the things you use to complain about and be thankful they are your only worries. After we have survived a difficult time, we are given a deep gratitude for our life.

Difficult times will happen. To find the light, we have to go through the darkness and while you’re in the midst of it, try to take a deep breath and remember that the lessons you are learning will shift your view of life. You will learn what matters, who matters, how strong you are and how lucky you are to exist. That’s what difficult times teach us and they are some of the most important lessons we can ever learn.

Original Post; http://www.purposefairy.com/80874/4-important-lessons-you-learn-through-difficult-times/

Loss: A Journey Of Survival

Dealing with loss is never an easy process.  It can take the joy right out of your soul in seconds, and change everything you have every know.   It can even change you.  Are you ever the same after losing someone?

There are all kinds of loss.  Loss of a parents, grandparents, siblings, children, friends.  Loss of ideas, concepts, and hopes.  Loss of dignity, pride and self.  It doesn’t matter whom, or what the loss is, it all ends in the same way – pain, confusion, hurt, anger.  It can put us in a very dark place.  A place that is there which leaves us questioning our meaning of existence, our beliefs, and ourselves.

I’ve had a lot of losses in my life.  My first “loss” was when my parents divorced.  I was six years old and I remember the time period – it stands still in my mind.  It’s a whirlwind of events, but for some reason the moments I remember are played so slowly.  My parents were just not meant to be, and I clearly understand that now, as a grown woman, but as a little girl my world was shattered.  I remember asking my Dad to stay in my room so that I could sleep.  I asked him to sit beside me for nights because I feared losing him.  I feared waking up and not finding him there anymore – not knowing where he went.  Life as I knew it was different from the rest of my friends and I was scared.  I did not understand the concept of Mommy and Daddy not being together anymore.  What did that mean for me?

Years later I lost my Grandfather. This was the first time I had physically lost someone.  I lived in a different city, and remember the phone call from my Dad.  Hearing words of loss is never easy.  Trying to figure out how to deal with it is something that you are unaware of when you are 13 years old.  I cried, as I hurt.  I lost my Grandpa – which little girl doesn’t cry?  I was a child still.

“Love is stronger than death even though it can’t stop death from happening, but no matter how hard death tries it can’t separate people from love. It can’t take away our memories either. In the end, life is stronger than death.” ~ Unknown

1998 was one of my most challenging years.  I was working with elderly people.  Loss was inevitable in this job.  It was also the year that my Step-Dad and Grandma were both diagnosed with cancer.  I remember that summer being filled with confusion, and many tears.  Cancer is a hellish disease.  I thought I was “trained”.  My medical experiences had prepared me.  I had a full understanding of how this disease would take its toll, and take the very life from my loved ones.  Watching them die in front of you is much different from receiving news on the phone – I took a leave of absence from my job and devoted my time, knowledge, experience and love to both of these people, my family members.  I took over palliative care – spent nights in the Cancer Agency, and palliative care homes. My efforts of love and devotion could not win the battles that were in their lives, and eight weeks apart was just too much for me.  I looked at death in a different way now – I was scared of it, and it had its control on my life.  I was scared to drive, I was scared of my loved ones driving,  I was scared of accidents, I was scared of disease.  I went so far as to not order food from a restaurant for delivery for fear of something happening to the delivery man and me being responsible for taking away someone from this earth who was loved my friends and family in their lives.  I was scared of everything in this world that would potentially take away someone I knew, someone I cared for, or worse – someone I loved.

One could say I did not handle this well … and nearly 20 years later I still feel scared of death.  I’ve lost more friends, and family.  And each time it takes away my faith in reality in this whole life process.

If you don’t realize the source, you stumble in confusion and sorrow. When you realize where you come from, you naturally become tolerant, disinterested, amused, kindhearted as a grandmother, dignified as a king. You can deal with whatever life brings you, and when death comes, you are ready. Lao Tzu

And then loss, at its finest … miscarriage.  This is not only a physical loss, but this is an emotional loss.  Horrific, and indescribable.  I have had two successful pregnancies between 2011 – 2013 and have two beautiful boys.  Why would I think that this would happen to me?  But apparently,”This is common”, they would tell me.  “We are surprised this has not happened to you yet!”, another would say.  Wait? What?  Am I really hearing this?  The idea of not seeing my babies heartbeat on my ultrasound, or feeling them kick and move in my belly was sad enough, but the reality of “what could have been” broke my heart to pieces.  What would my baby have looked like?  What would she, or he have grown up to love?  Would they have had the most beautiful smile, just like my two boys?  What caused this?  Was it me?  Was is God’s plan?  Was I being punished?  What did I do wrong to deserve this? Am a I horrible person?  What did I do in my past live to deserve this?  Did someone hate me so much that they wished this upon me?

My baby would have been born last week, and so i’ve sat here going through the motions and trying to understand loss a little better.  Making an effort for Loss and I to become pal’s so I can empathize a little easier.  What is it that causes us the tears, that horrible ache in your heart, the feeling that causes those uncontrollable tears.  Because my mind wants to identify it, and grab it and throw it away and never think of it again, or do I?  If I am able to figure out what I can do to block those emotions does that make me a horrible person?  Heartless?

There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief… and unspeakable love.  ~ Washington Irving

I realize now that it is nothing that anyone can prepare for, prevent, or even accept gracefully.  Loss is horrible, and it breaks you down.  Only time can heal, and that is because of the distance it creates between you, and when it happened.  Time … will eventually heal all losses.

And after the tears stop I sit back and think just how lucky I am to be alive and to have experienced all of these memories, especially the ones that hurt so much, the losses that broke me into pieces, and tore my soul apart.  I pick up the mess I have turned into, and I remind myself that I hurt because I loved so much, because I cared so much, because I let things matter to me from the deepest parts of my being … because at the end of the day what it comes down to is that some people are never this lucky.  I am blessed.

 

 

 

Self Love | Making Yourself The Only Priority

It’s been a while, and took some convincing, but now I am able to say that I am number one.  Number one does not mean that I neglect my duties and responsibilities as a wife and a mother, it simply means that the decisions I make in my day-to-day life are decisions that will make me a better individual.  Decisions that put my best interests first in order to make me the best version of me.

In today’s society we have way too much negativity, and the saddest part of all of this is that I never noticed this until I took the trusted teaching of Buddha and tried to apply them to my daily life – get rid of all toxic and negatives in your life.

Toxic’s are not necessarily bad people.  The toxic’s and negative’s can be things, anything really, that gives you a not so great feeling.  Anything that drains a little bit of that happiness, and places that heavy feeling on your shoulders.  The things that dull your sparkle, and shine.

For the longest time I felt that being passive and non responsive to these feelings was the right, and mature thing to do.  In the end I felt that things ended up weighing on my shoulders much longer than they ever had the right to be there for.  Feelings left unresolved only caused a bigger burden on my body, in my heart, and in my mind.  They left me functioning at 80%, and the other 20% was focussed on negatives.  I may not have outwardly reacted to them, but functioning at 80% was not only unfair to myself, it was unfair to those in my life because I was not really being me.  The happy, authentic, and real 100% me.

self-love | noun

regard for one’s own well-being and happiness (chiefly considered as a desirable rather than narcissistic characteristic).

I found this article that had a list of things that you could do for yourself to help pull the 100% you into focus from the minute you wake up, so I thought I would share. The original post is in http://www.lifehack.org

 We practice self-love so we can push through our limiting beliefs and live a life that truly shines.  So do yourself a favor, take a deep breath, give yourself a little hug and start practicing the following:

1. Start each day by telling yourself something really positive. How well you handled a situation, how lovely you look today. Anything that will make you smile.
2. Fill your body with food and drink that nourishes it and makes it thrive.
3. Move that gorgeous body of yours every single day and learn to love the skin you’re in. You can’t hate your way into loving yourself.
4. Don’t believe everything you think. There is an inner critic inside of us trying to keep us small and safe. The downside is this also stops us from living a full life.
5. Surround yourself with people who love and encourage you. Let them remind you just how amazing you are.
6. Stop the comparisons. There is no one on this planet like you, so you cannot fairly compare yourself to someone else. The only person you should compare yourself to is you.
7. End all toxic relationships. Seriously. Anyone who makes you feel anything less than amazing doesn’t deserve to be a part of your life.
8. Celebrate your wins no matter how big or small. Pat yourself on the back and be proud of what you have achieved.
9. Step outside of your comfort zone and try something new. It’s incredible the feeling we get when we realize we have achieved something we didn’t know or think we could do before.
10. Embrace and love the things that make you different. This is what makes you special.
11. Realize that beauty cannot be defined. It is what you see it as. Don’t let any of those Photoshopped magazines make you feel like your body isn’t perfect. Even those models don’t look like that in real life.
12. Take time out to calm your mind every day. Breathe in and out, clear your mind of your thoughts and just be.
13. Follow your passion. You know that thing that gets you so excited but scares you at the same time. The thing you really want to do but have convinced yourself it won’t work. You should go do that!
14. Be patient but persistent. Self-love is ever evolving. It’s something that needs to be practiced daily but can take a lifetime to master. So be kind and support yourself through the hard times.
15. Be mindful of what you think, feel and want. Live your life in ways that truly reflect this.
16. Treat others with love and respect. It makes us feel better about ourselves when we treat others the way we hope to be treated. That doesn’t mean everybody will always repay the favor, but that’s their problem not yours.
17. Find something to be grateful for every day. It’s inevitable that you are going to have your down days. This is fine and very human of you. It’s especially important on these days to find at least one thing you are grateful for as it helps to shift your mind and energy around what’s going on.
18. Reach out to family, friends, healers, whomever you need to help you through the tough times. You are not expected to go through them alone.
19. Learn to say no. Saying no sometimes doesn’t make you a bad person, it makes you a smart person.
20. Forgive yourself. You know that thing you did one time (or maybe a few times) that made you feel bad, embarrassed, ashamed? It’s time to let that go. You can’t change the things you have done in the past but you can control your future. Look at it as a learning experience and believe in your ability to change.
21. Write it down. Head swimming with so many thoughts it’s giving you a headache? Write them all down on a piece of paper, no matter how crazy, mean, sad, or terrifying they are. Keep it in a journal, tear it up, burn it, whatever you need to do to let it go.
22. Turn off and inwards. Grab a cup of your favorite tea, coffee, wine, whatever your choice of drink, and sit down for a few minutes on your own. No TV or distractions, just you. Think about the wonderful things that are happening in your life right now, what your big dreams are and how you can make them happen.
23. Give up the need for approval from others. “You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there’s still going to be somebody who hates peaches.” — Dita Von Teese
24. Be realistic. There is no person on this earth that is happy every single moment of every single day. You know why? Because we are all human. We make mistakes, we feel emotions (good and bad) and this is OK. Allow yourself to be human.
25. Get creative and express yourself in whatever way you like. Painting, writing, sculpting, building, music, whatever takes your fancy, and make sure you leave your inner critic at the door. There are no right ways to be creative.
26. Let go of past trauma and wounds. This can be a really tough one and it may be one of those times you need to turn to others for support. The truth is though, when we let go of things that have happened to us it’s almost like a weight is lifted off our shoulders. We don’t have to carry that around with us anymore. We deserve better.
27. Find your happy place. Where’s the one place you feel totally at ease, calm, happy, positive, high on life? Go to that place when you are going through hard times, or imagine yourself being there. Think about how it feels, what it smells like, what it looks like.
28. The next time you are feeling happy and on top of the world make a list of your best qualities and accomplishments. It may sound a little corny, but it can be a wonderful reminder when you are having a day that’s less than amazing.
29. Get in touch with your inner dialogue. If it’s anything less than loving, encouraging and supportive, it’s time to make a change. You deserve to be spoken to in the same way you would speak to your best friend, sister, brother, daughter, or son.
30. Have fun! Get out there and do the things that light your fire. Enjoy them, enjoy being you and enjoy your incredible life.

Feel better?  Feeling motivated?  This list is a fabulous reminder of the little things we can do to help guide ourselves along that good path in our day-to-day journey.

Practice Self Love.  Choose just one of two of these items each day.  Live with self-love as your focus, and slowly you will begin to see how you will be encouraging to other’s.  How other’s will begin to be motivated by you.  How much better you will relate to other’s on this same journey.

Loving yourself isn’t a one time event.  It is an endless, and ongoing journey that hopefully, if you surround yourself with the right people, will be enjoyable and memorable, the way we should all live our lives.

 

 

 

Happy New Year, 2016!

Making New Year’s resolutions and staying committed to them can be a challenging thing for a lot of people. And even though I think it’s important to have a vision, a clear direction or goal before starting the New Year, all these New Year’s resolution lists can create a lot of stress and anxiety in people, causing them to feel disappointed when things don’t go as planned. And that’s the reason why I created this list of 15 New Year’s Resolutions Every Person Should Make. 

This is a different kind of New Year’s Resolutions List, a list that’s meant to help you do the things you want to do, while at the same time learning to be calm, flexible, open and receptive when things don’t go as planned. Because you and I know that life doesn’t always goes as planned, and that’s okay. Anyway, here are 15 New Year’s Resolutions Every Person Should Make.

Enjoy 

1. Be open and receptive.

Be open and receptive to whatever life sends your way.

2. Allow.

Allow life to shape you and to mold you in a majestical and graceful way.

3. Surrender.

Surrender to what is.

4. Let go.

Let go of fixed plans and concepts and allow events to follow their natural course. 

5. Accept.

Accept life unconditionally and trust that it’s all happening for your highest good. 

6. Embrace.

Embrace with grace all that you face.

7. Be soft. 

Be soft, fluid and yielding, just like water is, and you will overcome whatever is rigid and hard. 

8. Trust.

Trust the wisdom of life more than your own wisdom. 

9. Treasure the moment. 

Treasure the moment. Don’t let it pass by you unnoticed. 

10. Be of good cheer.

Be of good cheer, there is always another way. 

11. Where there is no love, put love.

Follow the advice of St. John of the cross, and “Where there is no love, put love — and you will find love.” 

12. Give thanks for all things. 

Cultivate the habit of giving thanks for every experience and every interaction life sends your way, either good or bad, because all of them are meant to contribute to your growth and evolution. 

13. Speak from the heart. 

Speak with love, speak from the heart. Speak in such a way that people love to listen to you. And when people talk, listen with your heart. Listen in such a way that they all love to speak to you.

14. Work with love.

Whatever you do in life, work at it with all your heart. Work at it with love, passion and dedication, “as working for the Lord, not for human masters.” ~ (NIV) Colossians 3:23

15. Seek to become all that life created you to become.

Be who life created you to be, not who the world thinks you should be. “Be who God meant you to be and you will set the world on fire.” ~ Catherine of Siena

Purpose Fairy; Added by Luminita Saviuc on 30, December 2015

Mindfulness