4 Important Lessons You Learn Through Difficult Times, by MAURA HUGHES

While difficult times can feel like a deep dark hole that we can’t escape and we often wonder “Why is this happening to me?”, there is a silver lining to tough times. It’s through the difficult times in our life, that we are able to grow. It’s when we are tested that we are able to rise, push through and come out the other side stronger, braver and bet

No one wants to struggle. No one wants to even admit their struggling. We all want to have Photoshopped versions of our own lives that fit perfectly into an Instagram square. But life does not work like that. Every one of us will be faced with a variety of tough times in their life. It is one of the few things we can really count on.

The truth is, there are some important lessons in life that we are only taught through difficult times and they can become the silver lining to the darkness.

1. Who your real friends are.

It’s an unfortunate and often time brutal truth to learn that someone we once thought would be there no matter can’t be counted on. Difficult times have a unique way of trimming off the fat in our lives. If someone does not truly care, they will not make the effort to be there. End of story. The realization that someone you love doesn’t make you a priority can knock you off your feet but it will save you time and energy that would have been spent trying to be there for them in the future. Eventually, you will learn who really matters, you will be grateful for them and you will have cleared out some emotional space for someone who will be there for you, through thick and thin.

2. The depth of your strength.

“It builds character,” was my mom’s favorite response to any complaint I had growing up. As annoying as that line was, it is true. Nothing builds our strength like surviving difficulty. Nothing forces us to leverage what we have, dig deep and come up with every ounce of integrity, patience and strength like a hard time. When you survive something, your internal scoreboard registers it. Imagine as if your internal synapses are pushing an extra win into your win/loss column and the next time you go into battle, your will take an inventory of what your winning record is and bulk up your confidence that you can survive and thrive, no matter what you are facing.

3. What really matters in life. 

Difficult times tend to turn our worlds upside down and anything that is nailed down to the floor will go flying. Sometimes it’s comforting to know what actually does stick, what is still hanging in there after the world goes awry. Because when we’re right side up again, we’ll be able to look a little more closely at those things, take a bit better care of them and love them even more for being unmovable. Most of us spend most of our days worrying about everything but what we should be worrying about. But after a difficult time, we’re less likely to worry as much about the little things and focusing on those unmovable pieces in our life that really matter.

4. How to be grateful. 

Difficult times leave us with a lasting impression. They alter us and change the way we view our lives. We have learned who and what matters in our life and undoubtedly we have a greater appreciation for them. Surviving hardship gives us a broader perspective on what hardship really is. You will look back on the things you use to complain about and be thankful they are your only worries. After we have survived a difficult time, we are given a deep gratitude for our life.

Difficult times will happen. To find the light, we have to go through the darkness and while you’re in the midst of it, try to take a deep breath and remember that the lessons you are learning will shift your view of life. You will learn what matters, who matters, how strong you are and how lucky you are to exist. That’s what difficult times teach us and they are some of the most important lessons we can ever learn.

Original Post; http://www.purposefairy.com/80874/4-important-lessons-you-learn-through-difficult-times/

Takeaway Truth: A Lesson in “Self Love”

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Over the years i’ve seen many people looking “outside” for what they thought, or felt should be felt on the inside.  If that doesn’t make sense let me put it this way.  Self-pity.  Simple, yet very direct, and possibly hurtful words for the sensitive at heart.

I do not understand where it is taught, or where it is picked up from.  I don’t remember it being a subject in school, or a conversation amongst friends in previous conversations .. however we all seem to develop it to some extent/degree over time … it may not always be there, but it’s lurking .. waiting for its chance to pop out at your most vulnerable and say “hey you! It’s been a long time .. we should go out for a drink and catch up!”

Do you remember the saying, “If you want something done, do it yourself” … I do.  It was usually me saying it when my husband decides to selectively not hear my requests … after all, everything I request is urgent, you know!! HA!

In context to my image posted above, I used the analogy in the last paragraph to explain how we should be looking inwards in order to find our encouragement, our desires, our “pat on the back”, so to speak.  Self Love.

It is too apparent that we like to blame the “outside” for things that don’t feel right, or things that don’t go our way.   When I say, “If you want something done, do it yourself” I truly mean this from my heart.  What no one really genuinely realizes -from the beginning – is that WE have the power all along.  We have the gift to say, “this is not how my story is going to end”.  WE have the biggest cheering section for our own personal team .. “WE”, as in “I ALONE”!

I really feel that if people began to take responsibility for their actions, for their feelings, and ultimately their lives they would realize that everything they want is in the palm of their hands.  The great outlook on life, the warm fuzzy feeling you feel when things go right, everything in life is a result of what you want, and act upon.  Do you love yourself enough?

If you are not happy with your current circumstances you should not look outside trying to find a “blame”, or a “quick fix” .. look inside.  Take a look at the decisions you are making on a daily basis … are you appreciating yourself,  are you making the best decisions for your future?  Peel back the layers and begin removing each element.  Is this something positive in your life, or something negative that you could do without.  It’s called “self-love”.  Love yourself enough to give only the best to you. If you want something done, you must do it yourself …  It starts with you, and ends with you.