4 Important Lessons You Learn Through Difficult Times, by MAURA HUGHES

While difficult times can feel like a deep dark hole that we can’t escape and we often wonder “Why is this happening to me?”, there is a silver lining to tough times. It’s through the difficult times in our life, that we are able to grow. It’s when we are tested that we are able to rise, push through and come out the other side stronger, braver and bet

No one wants to struggle. No one wants to even admit their struggling. We all want to have Photoshopped versions of our own lives that fit perfectly into an Instagram square. But life does not work like that. Every one of us will be faced with a variety of tough times in their life. It is one of the few things we can really count on.

The truth is, there are some important lessons in life that we are only taught through difficult times and they can become the silver lining to the darkness.

1. Who your real friends are.

It’s an unfortunate and often time brutal truth to learn that someone we once thought would be there no matter can’t be counted on. Difficult times have a unique way of trimming off the fat in our lives. If someone does not truly care, they will not make the effort to be there. End of story. The realization that someone you love doesn’t make you a priority can knock you off your feet but it will save you time and energy that would have been spent trying to be there for them in the future. Eventually, you will learn who really matters, you will be grateful for them and you will have cleared out some emotional space for someone who will be there for you, through thick and thin.

2. The depth of your strength.

“It builds character,” was my mom’s favorite response to any complaint I had growing up. As annoying as that line was, it is true. Nothing builds our strength like surviving difficulty. Nothing forces us to leverage what we have, dig deep and come up with every ounce of integrity, patience and strength like a hard time. When you survive something, your internal scoreboard registers it. Imagine as if your internal synapses are pushing an extra win into your win/loss column and the next time you go into battle, your will take an inventory of what your winning record is and bulk up your confidence that you can survive and thrive, no matter what you are facing.

3. What really matters in life. 

Difficult times tend to turn our worlds upside down and anything that is nailed down to the floor will go flying. Sometimes it’s comforting to know what actually does stick, what is still hanging in there after the world goes awry. Because when we’re right side up again, we’ll be able to look a little more closely at those things, take a bit better care of them and love them even more for being unmovable. Most of us spend most of our days worrying about everything but what we should be worrying about. But after a difficult time, we’re less likely to worry as much about the little things and focusing on those unmovable pieces in our life that really matter.

4. How to be grateful. 

Difficult times leave us with a lasting impression. They alter us and change the way we view our lives. We have learned who and what matters in our life and undoubtedly we have a greater appreciation for them. Surviving hardship gives us a broader perspective on what hardship really is. You will look back on the things you use to complain about and be thankful they are your only worries. After we have survived a difficult time, we are given a deep gratitude for our life.

Difficult times will happen. To find the light, we have to go through the darkness and while you’re in the midst of it, try to take a deep breath and remember that the lessons you are learning will shift your view of life. You will learn what matters, who matters, how strong you are and how lucky you are to exist. That’s what difficult times teach us and they are some of the most important lessons we can ever learn.

Original Post; http://www.purposefairy.com/80874/4-important-lessons-you-learn-through-difficult-times/

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10 Reasons Why Losing Your Sh*t Will Make Your Life Come Together

Being optimistic in life is a beautiful thing, but just like your weekend Fireball shots, it works best in moderation.

Monday through Friday, 9 am to 5 pm, we play the roles of happy, positive, outgoing people, who don’t get fazed by life’s occasional sh*ttiness.

We pretend every challenge is a non-existent ploy to throw us off of our games, and we continue keeping our heads well above the water. Well, sometimes, the best thing to do is let ourselves sink.

10. Your breaking point is your solo journey. No outside feedback allowed.

What happens to you when you break down is your own journey, and if part of that journey is hung up on what other people think and advise, you need to walk away immediately and shut the door.

Our entire lives are based on outside feedback and contributions that were never truly welcome in the first place. Why let someone else’s opinions dictate your life, especially now?

When you feel like you’ve reached a breaking point, something beautiful happens: You begin to listen to yourself, your own truth and your own suffering — that’s where healing begins.


9. Giving yourself time first is never a selfish act.

Losing your sh*t forces you to detach from things and people who no longer serve you. Disconnecting becomes that much easier because you’re finally thinking about yourself, and you don’t feel one bit selfish.

Hold on to that feeling. Taking care of yourself, for the first time in a long time, is the best thing you can give yourself. Don’t apologize for it.


8. Don’t cover up your sadness with an even sadder version of happiness.

Throw optimism out. If you feel like sh*t, admit it. Don’t walk around on eggshells. What are you protecting yourself from?

Yes, sometimes everything sucks. To try and justify that with a lame excuse or cover it up and remain positive is to push that restless feeling even further down. Sit with it. Let it sink in, and understand it’s all happening for a reason.


7. Don’t apologize.

You’re not broken; you’re simply out of order. Don’t apologize for that.

We’re not machines that keep going no matter what. We have feelings, emotions, problems and thoughts that sometimes spiral out of control. We need time to reevaluate, rethink and regroup. We need time to heal.

There will always be people in your life who expect you to keep moving forward, even when the thought of doing so depresses the hell out of you.

Don’t apologize to them for not living up to their expectations. Take the time you need to figure out if those expectations have any room in your life (they most likely won’t).


6. Remain where you are. There is no due date.

You can go through the motions, but if you’ve reached the point where all you want to do is snuggle up with your dog and cry, then do that! Don’t feel like you have to rush back to this super-important life and live. You are living!

Losing your sh*t is living, and while it might not be fun, it’s damn important. We think if we’re not working, studying, driving or vacationing, we’re not living. Doing nothing is a part of life.

Hitting rock bottom is that cruel part of life that teaches you that all of the working and driving and “living” is nothing compared to what you need to do with your life in this present moment. Just be.


5. Let it out.

Cuss, yell, cry, journal, talk to yourself. When you break down, your heart is full of emotion. Your mind, on the other hand, is full of words. Those words are like anchors that weigh you down to the bottomless pits of crap.

There is no reason in the world why you should hold on to them. When you verbally speak your problems, your body releases tension like you’ve never felt before. It can be incredibly difficult to speak your truth.

There are thoughts in your head you’ve hidden from yourself for years. Confronting them won’t be easy, but speaking them out loud will release you from the prison you think you’re in. It turns out, you’ve had the key to that prison all along.


4. Stop thinking in future time.

There is no better way to make yourself feel even sh*ttier than to try and figure out your future steps. Don’t crowd your mind. What will happen in the future will happen, no matter how hard you try to control it.

When you push yourself to the next step, next goal and next future event, you take yourself out of the present moment. After all, at the end of the day, all you have left is the present.


3. Feel what it feels like to be vulnerable.

From personal experience, feeling vulnerable can be extremely scary. That’s the point. When you’ve hit your low, the layers of pretending start to fall away.

You’re no longer the strong, independent, logical person you once were. You’re now an emotionally-overwhelmed puddle of tears who has no strength or desire to please anyone else but yourself.

Being vulnerable means being open, honest and exposed. It means not holding on to any preconceived notion of what you think you should be and, most importantly, not giving a flying f*ck about what anyone else thinks of you.


2. Believe that even this happens for a beautiful reason.

Nothing is accidental. When you think you’ve lost everything you’ve known, you somehow gain something you never knew you needed.

It’s easy to get wrapped up in concerns and worries, but to have faith in the bigger picture means you’re willing to surrender your sorrows because you’ve done the best you can.


1. Find beauty in the breakdown.

It’s there. It always is. It’s not about replacing sadness with happiness. It’s about acknowledging and welcoming the sadness because you’re human and it’s f*cking okay to not be okay sometimes.

Losing control and falling apart can be a true blessing when you realize we’re not meant to control or stay intact forever. Sometimes, falling apart helps you put the pieces back together in a different order and find peace you didn’t see before.

Original Source;  http://elitedaily.com/life/10-reasons-losing-sht-will-make-life-come-together/923981/

Keeping It Real: Life In The Fast Lane

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The time in between each of my blog entries seems to be getting longer and longer.   I have a lot of thoughts that run through my mind as my day goes on, however finding time to sort my thoughts, and put them down on here seems to get lost on the back burner.

In my last entry I wrote how I felt on a day that I was in a very vulnerable place.  A part of me wants to take that entry and delete it, and the honest side of me says, “No, don’t you dare.  You were simply being a human being”…

I promised myself that I would keep it there, and that I would one day reread it – coming from a different perspective – and congratulate myself on how far i’ve come from since those feelings of helplessness and frustration – negative emotional feelings that consumed me at that moment.

The addition of one extra little boy has filled my heart with so much joy, but finding time for “me” is next to impossible as my world is filled with two little boys 24 hours a day.  Finding time to breathe and release the stresses of each day is non-existent, and finding time to meditate usually ends with me falling asleep the minute I close my eyes!  I am physically, and emotionally drained at day’s end.  Not finding this time has left me feeling like I am in a rut – and i’ve come to realize that this feeling is not bringing anything positive into my children’s lives.  They will be the best when I AM MY BEST!  I need to remember this!

I have not forgotten that special place I used to visit once a day – the place of calm, and serene.  The place where I would build up my emotional energy reservoir so I could continue on for the remainder of the day.  The place where my honesty was the best thing for me because I could learn from my emotion – both good and bad.  It’s not a forgotten place, just a place that has been less travelled over the last few weeks …. I am ready to reinvent the “new” me … the new, and improved mommy of 2!!