The Art Of Forgiveness | The Most Precious Gift To Yourself

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I am the first to admit it – I let things fester, unnecessarily, to the point where I lose sleep, and dwell on things.  I get to the point where I attach all memories to a specific event, or person and I only see negative.  It turns all of my acquired human decency in prickly little attitude which takes away my shine.  It turns my happiness into frustration.  It take’s the quality of my joy and turns it into mediocre.  It take’s the authenticity out of me.

The thing about fairness in life, is that it just doesn’t happen.  You can take a look at your past and all the events that have bothered you to all different degree’s and you will learn, from your continued life experiences, that it just doesn’t happen.

There have been situations where I have sat there, literally for day’s, month’s, or in certain circumstances, years and thought that what someone has done to me has been so unfair.  No one in their wildest imagination would see their actions towards me justified by any means. I do tend to distance myself from people who hurt me, physically… but letting go and keeping your distance, mentally, is something that takes a little more discipline.

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Do I believe in Karma?  Yes.  Did any of these individuals ever get what I felt they justly deserved to come back to them for treating me a certain way?  No.

Being imprisoned by these hurtful actions does not do anything except lock you into an emotional prison where you are left trapped, and unable to move forward in your own journey.

Don’t lose your joy.  Don’t function as a mediocre being when you try so hard to shine each and every day.

All the years you have waited for them to “make it up to you” and all the energy you expended trying to make them change (or make them pay) kept the old wounds from healing and gave pain from the past free rein to shape and even damage your life. And still they may not have changed. Nothing you have done has made them change. Indeed, they may never change. Inner peace is found by changing yourself, not the people who hurt you. And you change yourself for yourself, for the joy, serenity, peace of mind, understanding, compassion, laughter, and bright future that you get.”

Lewis B. Smedes 

The Art of Forgiving: When You Need To Forgive And Don’t Know How

Quality over Quantity: The Re-evaluation Of Friendships At Face Value

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This past year has been extremely busy and challenging.  No one can predict what life will hand you.  It has taught me not only about myself, but has shown me much about the friendships that I have in my life.

It has shown me that not everything is in my control.  That my personal best is my own form of “perfection” and that was something that I desperately needed to wrap my head around and accept.
It has shown me the characteristics in friendships that mean so much to me – the things that I need and deserve in my life.  The things, that without, would be deal breakers:
Supportive people who do not look for gains or opportunities to benefit themselves, or take advantage of others in any way shape or form.
Loyal people who will say what they need to your face rather than behind my back.  We always find things out, so it’s just best to say it to their face.
Empathetic people who understand that I do not have any time for myself but are still okay with a friendship that has been reduced to a few random emails, phone calls, or text messages – because THAT is the ONLY amount of time I have in the day to spend on “myself”.   I miss my girly dates and I wish to have more of them in the future!
Face Value – what you see is what you get.  There are no games, there is no hidden agenda, there is no stress.  The friendship is just “easy”.  It’s real.  It’s safe.
Authentic people who genuinely care for my wellbeing -they don’t make me feel guilty, or insufficient as a friend.  They make efforts to maintain a friendship that may seem one-sided at times without making you feel stressed out.  You know you can count on them in a heartbeat before you even need to ask.  They realize that sometimes things are unbalanced, but they just let you know it’s okay to just be yourself.
To those people in my life, THANK YOU.  Thank you for being a QUALITY friend.  For showing, unselfishly, what a real and true friend is.  For lifting me up when I feel like a failure as a friend, or mother and for bringing positivity back into the word friendship, because, let’s face it – there are not many of you “quality” people out there.
You are God’s personal angels.  It is his way of whispering in my ear and letting me know that I really am going to be okay in this life – and everything will work out as planned even when life feels chaotic xo