The Art Of Forgiveness | The Most Precious Gift To Yourself

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I am the first to admit it – I let things fester, unnecessarily, to the point where I lose sleep, and dwell on things.  I get to the point where I attach all memories to a specific event, or person and I only see negative.  It turns all of my acquired human decency in prickly little attitude which takes away my shine.  It turns my happiness into frustration.  It take’s the quality of my joy and turns it into mediocre.  It take’s the authenticity out of me.

The thing about fairness in life, is that it just doesn’t happen.  You can take a look at your past and all the events that have bothered you to all different degree’s and you will learn, from your continued life experiences, that it just doesn’t happen.

There have been situations where I have sat there, literally for day’s, month’s, or in certain circumstances, years and thought that what someone has done to me has been so unfair.  No one in their wildest imagination would see their actions towards me justified by any means. I do tend to distance myself from people who hurt me, physically… but letting go and keeping your distance, mentally, is something that takes a little more discipline.

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Do I believe in Karma?  Yes.  Did any of these individuals ever get what I felt they justly deserved to come back to them for treating me a certain way?  No.

Being imprisoned by these hurtful actions does not do anything except lock you into an emotional prison where you are left trapped, and unable to move forward in your own journey.

Don’t lose your joy.  Don’t function as a mediocre being when you try so hard to shine each and every day.

All the years you have waited for them to “make it up to you” and all the energy you expended trying to make them change (or make them pay) kept the old wounds from healing and gave pain from the past free rein to shape and even damage your life. And still they may not have changed. Nothing you have done has made them change. Indeed, they may never change. Inner peace is found by changing yourself, not the people who hurt you. And you change yourself for yourself, for the joy, serenity, peace of mind, understanding, compassion, laughter, and bright future that you get.”

Lewis B. Smedes 

The Art of Forgiving: When You Need To Forgive And Don’t Know How

4 Important Lessons You Learn Through Difficult Times, by MAURA HUGHES

While difficult times can feel like a deep dark hole that we can’t escape and we often wonder “Why is this happening to me?”, there is a silver lining to tough times. It’s through the difficult times in our life, that we are able to grow. It’s when we are tested that we are able to rise, push through and come out the other side stronger, braver and bet

No one wants to struggle. No one wants to even admit their struggling. We all want to have Photoshopped versions of our own lives that fit perfectly into an Instagram square. But life does not work like that. Every one of us will be faced with a variety of tough times in their life. It is one of the few things we can really count on.

The truth is, there are some important lessons in life that we are only taught through difficult times and they can become the silver lining to the darkness.

1. Who your real friends are.

It’s an unfortunate and often time brutal truth to learn that someone we once thought would be there no matter can’t be counted on. Difficult times have a unique way of trimming off the fat in our lives. If someone does not truly care, they will not make the effort to be there. End of story. The realization that someone you love doesn’t make you a priority can knock you off your feet but it will save you time and energy that would have been spent trying to be there for them in the future. Eventually, you will learn who really matters, you will be grateful for them and you will have cleared out some emotional space for someone who will be there for you, through thick and thin.

2. The depth of your strength.

“It builds character,” was my mom’s favorite response to any complaint I had growing up. As annoying as that line was, it is true. Nothing builds our strength like surviving difficulty. Nothing forces us to leverage what we have, dig deep and come up with every ounce of integrity, patience and strength like a hard time. When you survive something, your internal scoreboard registers it. Imagine as if your internal synapses are pushing an extra win into your win/loss column and the next time you go into battle, your will take an inventory of what your winning record is and bulk up your confidence that you can survive and thrive, no matter what you are facing.

3. What really matters in life. 

Difficult times tend to turn our worlds upside down and anything that is nailed down to the floor will go flying. Sometimes it’s comforting to know what actually does stick, what is still hanging in there after the world goes awry. Because when we’re right side up again, we’ll be able to look a little more closely at those things, take a bit better care of them and love them even more for being unmovable. Most of us spend most of our days worrying about everything but what we should be worrying about. But after a difficult time, we’re less likely to worry as much about the little things and focusing on those unmovable pieces in our life that really matter.

4. How to be grateful. 

Difficult times leave us with a lasting impression. They alter us and change the way we view our lives. We have learned who and what matters in our life and undoubtedly we have a greater appreciation for them. Surviving hardship gives us a broader perspective on what hardship really is. You will look back on the things you use to complain about and be thankful they are your only worries. After we have survived a difficult time, we are given a deep gratitude for our life.

Difficult times will happen. To find the light, we have to go through the darkness and while you’re in the midst of it, try to take a deep breath and remember that the lessons you are learning will shift your view of life. You will learn what matters, who matters, how strong you are and how lucky you are to exist. That’s what difficult times teach us and they are some of the most important lessons we can ever learn.

Original Post; http://www.purposefairy.com/80874/4-important-lessons-you-learn-through-difficult-times/

Loss: A Journey Of Survival

Dealing with loss is never an easy process.  It can take the joy right out of your soul in seconds, and change everything you have every know.   It can even change you.  Are you ever the same after losing someone?

There are all kinds of loss.  Loss of a parents, grandparents, siblings, children, friends.  Loss of ideas, concepts, and hopes.  Loss of dignity, pride and self.  It doesn’t matter whom, or what the loss is, it all ends in the same way – pain, confusion, hurt, anger.  It can put us in a very dark place.  A place that is there which leaves us questioning our meaning of existence, our beliefs, and ourselves.

I’ve had a lot of losses in my life.  My first “loss” was when my parents divorced.  I was six years old and I remember the time period – it stands still in my mind.  It’s a whirlwind of events, but for some reason the moments I remember are played so slowly.  My parents were just not meant to be, and I clearly understand that now, as a grown woman, but as a little girl my world was shattered.  I remember asking my Dad to stay in my room so that I could sleep.  I asked him to sit beside me for nights because I feared losing him.  I feared waking up and not finding him there anymore – not knowing where he went.  Life as I knew it was different from the rest of my friends and I was scared.  I did not understand the concept of Mommy and Daddy not being together anymore.  What did that mean for me?

Years later I lost my Grandfather. This was the first time I had physically lost someone.  I lived in a different city, and remember the phone call from my Dad.  Hearing words of loss is never easy.  Trying to figure out how to deal with it is something that you are unaware of when you are 13 years old.  I cried, as I hurt.  I lost my Grandpa – which little girl doesn’t cry?  I was a child still.

Love is stronger than death even though it can’t stop death from happening, but no matter how hard death tries it can’t separate people from love. It can’t take away our memories either. In the end, life is stronger than death.” ~ Unknown

1998 was one of my most challenging years.  I was working with elderly people.  Loss was inevitable in this job.  It was also the year that my Step-Dad and Grandma were both diagnosed with cancer.  I remember that summer being filled with confusion, and many tears.  Cancer is a hellish disease.  I thought I was “trained”.  My medical experiences had prepared me.  I had a full understanding of how this disease would take its toll, and take the very life from my loved ones.  Watching them die in front of you is much different from receiving news on the phone – I took a leave of absence from my job and devoted my time, knowledge, experience and love to both of these people, my family members.  I took over palliative care – spent nights in the Cancer Agency, and palliative care homes. My efforts of love and devotion could not win the battles that were in their lives, and eight weeks apart was just too much for me.  I looked at death in a different way now – I was scared of it, and it had its control on my life.  I was scared to drive, I was scared of my loved ones driving,  I was scared of accidents, I was scared of disease.  I went so far as to not order food from a restaurant for delivery for fear of something happening to the delivery man and me being responsible for taking away someone from this earth who was loved my friends and family in their lives.  I was scared of everything in this world that would potentially take away someone I knew, someone I cared for, or worse – someone I loved.

One could say I did not handle this well … and nearly 20 years later I still feel scared of death.  I’ve lost more friends, and family.  And each time it takes away my faith in reality in this whole life process.

If you don’t realize the source, you stumble in confusion and sorrow. When you realize where you come from, you naturally become tolerant, disinterested, amused, kindhearted as a grandmother, dignified as a king. You can deal with whatever life brings you, and when death comes, you are ready. Lao Tzu

And then loss, at its finest … miscarriage.  This is not only a physical loss, but this is an emotional loss.  Horrific, and indescribable.  I have had two successful pregnancies between 2011 – 2013 and have two beautiful boys.  Why would I think that this would happen to me?  But apparently,”This is common”, they would tell me.  “We are surprised this has not happened to you yet!”, another would say.  Wait? What?  Am I really hearing this?  The idea of not seeing my babies heartbeat on my ultrasound, or feeling them kick and move in my belly was sad enough, but the reality of “what could have been” broke my heart to pieces.  What would my baby have looked like?  What would she, or he have grown up to love?  Would they have had the most beautiful smile, just like my two boys?  What caused this?  Was it me?  Was is God’s plan?  Was I being punished?  What did I do wrong to deserve this? Am a I horrible person?  What did I do in my past live to deserve this?  Did someone hate me so much that they wished this upon me?

My baby would have been born last week, and so i’ve sat here going through the motions and trying to understand loss a little better.  Making an effort for Loss and I to become pal’s so I can empathize a little easier.  What is it that causes us the tears, that horrible ache in your heart, the feeling that causes those uncontrollable tears.  Because my mind wants to identify it, and grab it and throw it away and never think of it again, or do I?  If I am able to figure out what I can do to block those emotions does that make me a horrible person?  Heartless?

There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief… and unspeakable love.  ~ Washington Irving

I realize now that it is nothing that anyone can prepare for, prevent, or even accept gracefully.  Loss is horrible, and it breaks you down.  Only time can heal, and that is because of the distance it creates between you, and when it happened.  Time … will eventually heal all losses.

And after the tears stop I sit back and think just how lucky I am to be alive and to have experienced all of these memories, especially the ones that hurt so much, the losses that broke me into pieces, and tore my soul apart.  I pick up the mess I have turned into, and I remind myself that I hurt because I loved so much, because I cared so much, because I let things matter to me from the deepest parts of my being … because at the end of the day what it comes down to is that some people are never this lucky.  I am blessed.

 

 

 

Catharsis: Steps To Finding Emotional Healing In Trying Times

I sit here, and I start to write about friendships, and quality, and frustrations, and toxic people, and closure and walking way and I find myself frustrated and saddened because that is not what I really want to be writing about.  I want to talk positive things, and get this miserable mess of a feeling off of my chest because it feels like it weighs about 50 lb., and it’s a very heavy load to be carrying around, and there’s another part of me that want’s to say … “nah, not you again.  Could you please stay away today?”

I want to be positive, and write positive, but lately I feel like I have just been smacked back and forth, and back and forth by the karma gods.  I really am not sure what I have done to deserve this, but then I also remembered reading this quote a while ago which did help to change my perspective.  I try to think of it frequently.
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And so how absolutely fabulous it is, just by changing your perspective, for that one moment, to think that instead of being drowned under water, held underneath life, and struggling in a world that we just cannot manage to keep afloat in, we are being cleansed – refreshed from all of the toxic, negative, chaos that we are just so over whelmed with in our lives.  This is how I choose to think of it today;
ca·thar·tic
adjective
providing psychological relief through the open expression of strong emotions; causing catharsis.  crying is a cathartic release
I love this word.  Who doesn’t love a word so strong that just by saying it could make you feel as though you have been picked up by the strongest of person, given the greatest of hugs, and made to be felt like you are on top of the world again – exactly where you were longing to be – safe, and taken care of.
Unfortunately, sometimes it is not as simple as just saying a word, though – but here are a few steps that I hope to remind myself to following when I do become overwhelmed next time – as I know I will.  I am human, and I do notice that I do follow a pattern when it comes to emotional hurdles.
Steps To Finding Emotional Healing:
Take Time Alone:
Take some time alone and figure out the emotions that are making you feel negative. Was it a person, situation, feeling.
Let It Go:  
Write, Cry, Scream, Let the emotions out.  Find a way that works for YOU – everyone is different and we all have a different way of dealing with things.  The trick is not to let things internalizing.  Internalizing things is what makes us hurt, and most likely why we are reading this right now.
Let Time Pass:
Sometimes it may take a day, or two, even weeks or months for things to digest.  Some of the things that may be causing you pain can be really heavy situations that you may not even know how to deal with.  Sometimes they are simply easier to deal with than others.  Sometimes we are at different points in our emotional journey which makes dealing with external negatives  at different times in our paths easier on different days than others.
Repeat:
Don’t be too quick to make these things go away.   You have your own rate at how your body digests emotional hurdles, and your time when you are ready to move on to the next chapter in your lives.  Do not put a timeline on things.  Expectations will only frustrate you and bring more stress to an already stressful situation.  Appreciate yourself enough to give yourself the time you need to heal.
Talk to someone you trust, someone with positive energy about things that have hurt you.  Perhaps their perspective, and guidance can bring great insight to the situation.  Sometimes just speaking out loud about the situation will help to ease the pain.

Eliminating Anger: Rid Yourself Of The Toxic


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Negative energy is all around us.  It’s one of the most consistent emotions in our world.  Negatives come in all forms – jealousy, rage, disappointment, anger etc…  When these feelings creep up on us it is very important to analyze exactly what it is that has us feeling so.  It is extremely important to peel back the layers and find the exact cause of what is bothering us.

Negative emotions and reactions can be uncomfortable for everyone – epecially ourselves.  We give off a certain energy that everyone can see – I am not good at hiding when I feel this way – it’s written all over my face.  This toxic energy can cause a lot of health issues in the long run if we do not deal with things.  I am guilty of not doing so, and with those particular actions I have taken situations that I have not even been upset with and made them into the primary thing I am feeling negative about.  By avoiding situations, people, feelings etc… they can linger over into an area of your life that is not effected – and unfortunately, when we do that it can blow up in our faces.

I tend to try and sweep the negatives under the rug, but sometimes there are situations that arise and I catch myself getting worked up over something that really hasn’t even been the primary reason of why I am so worked up.  Dealing with negatives as they arise has been the healthiest choice i’ve made in some time … it eases the stress that is simmering under the lid – it gives me a sense of peace when I find “closure” to situations that I may feel anxious about – it keeps me in an honest place holding me accountable for the negatives that I bring into my personal space.  This is particularly important if you are emotional, and empathetic.

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I found this great little exercise online about how to rid yourself of negative energies by forgiving people/ situations as they arise.  I will share it with you here:

 

Method of Letting Go Of Anger

Here is what you say in the releasing technique: (simplified version that I use on myself and with my clients)

I give myself permission and I am ready to release all the anger to divine light that is caused (repeat the situation that causes your anger) and from my cellular memory and from my body in all time lines.

Breathe deeply from your diaphragm. Then say the following:

I am also ready to forgive (name of person who caused your anger) in all time lines and myself for carrying this anger in all time lines.

Breathe deeply again and imagine letting go of anger and all the anger releasing from your body to divine light.

If you feel that you need extra help in letting go of anger, call on Arch Angel Raphael to help you to release your anger and also to heal your cellular memory and your body.

If you do this exercise with clear and focused intention, you will heal your body and cellular memory of anger and other toxic emotions.

But, it is important to realize that there are many layers of anger within your body, so you may have to do this each time you get angry. Eventually, you will feel and see a difference – your feelings of anger towards others will diminish.

Each time you do this exercise, it is important to forgive the one you are feeling angry towards, and also yourself.

Forgiveness is choosing to change a thought, belief and an emotion with respect to other people and situations. As everything in the Universe is energy, forgiveness is also a process of transforming energy. Forgiveness is a choice as is not forgiving. When there is someone in your life that you think you cannot forgive, then the energy of that person and situation remains within your aura. 

Forgiveness is taken from Forgiveness: Forgiveness and Self-Forgiveness

You have been storing negative emotions within yourself throughout your life time, so it will take time to release all the toxicity within your body.

Each time you do this exercise, drink lots of water to help flush out the toxicity within your system.

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Natural Homeopathic Remedies For Anger

If you find that your negative emotions such as anger have taken over your thoughts and behavior, there is a 100% herbal remedy which I recommend called Universal Homeopathic from Pure Herbs Ltd. . It contains:

  • Support Group – Rescue Remedy developed by Dr.Edward Bach, an English physician which corrects tension and emotional disorders following shock, panic, mental stress and tension
  • Willow – for those who are resentful or bitter over adverse events which have befallen them, and they feel undeserving of life’s injustices
  • Holly – for those who are disturbed by feelings of hate, jealousy, envy, suspicion, and revenge, for strong states antipathetic to love
  • Crab Apple – for those who have a poor self-image or who feel shame and unattractiveness
  • Honeysuckle – for those who have feelings of nostalgia and homesickness; instead of living in the present they are preoccupied with ‘the good old days’.

Directions: Take 3 drops on or under the tongue or rubbed into pulse points. If an attack of the problem occurs, put 12 drops in a cup of liquid and sips lowly until the feeling lifts.

 

 

Until you have released much of your anger, here are other 100% natural Homeopathic remedies from Pure Herbs that will help you to keep you calm.

  • Blue Vervain sometimes referred to as Herbal Veneris, wild Hyssop or Indian Hyssop. it is known as a sedative and is used in the treatment of nervous conditions such as hysteria and depression. Since it is also known as a diuretic it is used in the treatment of kidney disorders.
  • N.-W This is a combination of Lady’s slipper, Blue Vervain, Scullcap, Hops and Valerian Root. This combination is complete to repair, calm and stabilize the nerves. It also eliminates tension. It promotes better co-ordination and control of the body functions controlled by the brain.

 

I am definitely trying this and have seen an improvement in the way I feel.  I am definitely an emotional person so when dealing with people and situations that leave me feeling drained I tend to stew over them, over analyze them until I am completely exhausted.  This exercise keeps you in the present dealing with the exact issue that has you feeling negative and placing closure on the situation so you can move on from that feeling.

 

You can find the details of this article through the following link

http://www.beyond-hearing-voices.com/letting-go-of-anger.html

Finding Balance: Living The Life Of An Empath

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Over the past few months i’ve blogged about many different topics, most of the time about emotional health because I find that expressing myself in words, behind the screen, is really is cathartic for me.  It allows me to express myself, without feeling judged or scorned for doing so.

One of the topics that I wrote about, which has been the most successful post to date, was a post about absorbing the negative energies that we are surrounded by in our day-to-day lives.  I remember quite clearly the way I felt when I was writing it, and was surprisingly comforted to find how others were able to compare their feelings to mine – I wasn’t alone.  The past few months I was re-blogged, and quoted on my honesty, and it was a proud feeling.

If you are interested in reading the blog entry, here it is:  https://pinkdivamamacita.wordpress.com/2013/07/21/the-domino-effect-when-you-absorb-the-negative-energy-of-the-world/

As I sit here this morning I reflect on a conversation I had with a friend yesterday, and the way i’ve been feeling about friendships this past year.  This specific conversation left me feeling frustrated, and hurt.  She misunderstood part of the conversation I was having with her and was simply being honest about how she felt like I did not want to spend time with her – This was quickly cleared up but in my mind I was thinking, but what about the reasons I would like to pull away from you; drama, lies, being inconsiderate and only calling or texting when she needs something.  To none of which I have ever said a word to her about as I know those are her own demons to go to battle with.  It was a serious moment where I wanted to scream “WTF, where’s your empathy, woman!”.

As many of you know from my homepage on my blog, I am pregnant-8 months to be exact, and with that has come loads of morning sickness, and physical discomfort so perhaps, more than ever, this is why I feel so in-tuned with my emotions, or more specifically, feel drained and frustrated with the quality of the friendships I currently have.  It seems that the people whom are closest to me, that I have done everything for, are the people whom I am finding are the biggest emotional drains for me – at least right now.

Perhaps it could be that I am simply emotional due to pregnancy but, more-so, I believe it is because I realize now just how much emotional energy I put in to my family, and friends.  I can now see clearly, when it would be nice to receive the same efforts back, just how unbalanced these connections are.  An easier explanation would be that perhaps it would be fair to say that I realize the efforts (emotionally and physically) it has taken me to call and check up on my friends, to lend an ear to someone who is appearing distant, to care so much, so to say, because I am feeling so drained. I can see, and appreciate, just how much energy it takes to do those things on a day-to-day basis when I am not functioning at my “optimal” state.  It’s exhausting.

I sit here and I feel guilty about even writing that out loud.  No one knows I blog.  I am anonymous to all who read this, and yet here I am feeling like i’ve back-stabbed the most important people in my life without even knowing whom i’ve insinuated my “insults” at.

Empathy used to be such a well-respected word in my books.  A stand-tall, proud word that I lived my every breath by.  Always caring about how others felt, and wanting to make them feeling better however, years and years later, I find that I am the one left feeling drained.  I’ve taken all of their problems, compartmentalized the emotional waste in my head, and thrown away the key.  The reality is – who did I keep safe?  Did I protect my friends and family?  Yes, I made them feel better but certainly I did no favors to myself – clearly with the way I am left feeling at the moment.

Is there any balance in the life of an empath, or are we all destined to our own demise based on our sheer concern of caring for others, sharing emotion, and protecting the ones we love.  Some days I feel like it is a curse to be so in-tuned with others and their feelings, and other days these overwhelming days seem so much more manageable.  Not today.

I think that the only way to avoid these days is to have you days …. set a day or two every couple of weeks for YOU – especially if you feel like you are doing fine, and you don’t need it.  Disconnect from society (Facebook,  social gatherings, telephone, tv) and just breathe, and remember that you need to save a bit of empathy for yourself.  You need to set some time aside to rejuvenate and clear the negativity from your mind so that it doesn’t become a hinderance down the line because, lets face it, it does.  We are human and only built to take on so much at a time.  We are not superhero’s, or are we?

Take a look, and evaluate who you try to help and care for.  Take a really good hard look at the quality of the people whom you put your emotional-self out there for.  There is nothing wrong with being selective in order to protect yourself from all of the energies out there.  Choose wisely.  Know your value.  I say the same for friendships also – don’t be a friend just to be a friend.  Surround yourself with good people of good quality.  Don’t give all of your emotional-self away to everyone just because it’s who you are and you feel it is the right thing to do.  Protect yourself.  You are a rare and valuable gem.  Treat yourself accordingly.

Living the life of an empath is not an easy one, but living the life of an empath who does not take care of their emotional health is a recipe for disaster.  We can’t carry the weight of the world every single day so it is very important to find the balance!  I am still searching for it. I haven’t found it yet, but I know I am one step closer today than I was yesterday!

The Domino Effect: When You Absorb The Negative Energy Of The World

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Have you ever  lent an ear to a friend or family member going thru a hard time only to find that once you were finished consoling that person you were left feeling anxious, drained, and negative?

This happened to me recently and I was in a state of emotional catastrophe for days afterwards.  I wasn’t sure what was going on until I came across a post online about “emotional vampires” or “energy suckers” as they were called, and an even more interesting word, “empath”.

I thought I was doing something good.  Creating great karma for myself.  Lending my ear.  Expressing concern, care and giving solid positive advice to the circumstance that was plaguing my friends mind.  Why was I feeling like I had just been hit by a bus?!

Everything in this world has energy.  People, plants, animals.  Everything gives off energy.   Everything absorbs energy.  The energy that I am specifically referring to is emotional energy.  Energy given off by individuals each and every day.  The feelings that we feel when we are sad, or happy.  This is energy – both positive and negative.

There are many people in this world that are completely oblivious to others energy.  People that can have a completely negative conversation and walk away scott free from being roped in to the drama.  There are others, called empaths, who pick up on various thoughts and feelings of others that feel the deep emotions and sensitivities – both good and bad.  People who absorb the energy of others who are left with a hangover of emotional disharmony.  A mental sponge, so to speak.

What is an empath?

Empaths are highly sensitive, finely tuned instruments when it comes to emotions. They feel everything, sometimes to an extreme, and are less apt to intellectualize feelings. Intuition is the filter through which they experience the world. Empaths are naturally giving, spiritually attuned, and good listeners. If you want heart, empaths have got it. Through thick and thin, they’re there for you, world-class nurturers. The trademark of empaths is that they know where you’re coming from. Some can do this without taking on people’s feelings.

Are You an Intuitive Empath?

Ask yourself:

  • Have you ever sat next to someone at a dinner who seems pleasant, but suddenly you’re nauseous, have a headache, or feel drained?
  • Are you uncomfortable in crowds, even go out of your way to avoid them?
  • Do you get easily over-stimulated by people or prefer being alone?
  • When someone is in pain, do you start feeling it too ?
  • Do I overeat around people I’m uncomfortable with?

If you’ve answered “yes” to one or more questions, it’s likely you have experienced intuitive empathy. Responding “yes” to every question indicates empathy is draining your energy.

Follow this link and take a short test to find out if you are an emotional empath:  http://www.empathtest.com/index.php

Strategies for dealing with emotional vampires:

  • Take an inventory of people in your life who give energy, and people who drain.Specifically identify the energy vampires, and begin to evaluate ones you’d like to limit contact with or eliminate. Plan at least one complete afternoon with people who give off positive energy and avoid drainers. Notice how this beneficially affects your physical and emotional well-being.
  • Set Clear Boundaries. It’s crucial to limit the time you spend discussing a vampire’s gripes. When approaching her, remember: the difference between being a bitch and setting boundaries is the attitude. Instead of saying, “You’re selfish and self-obsessed, I can’t take you anymore,” which a part of you likely feels, take a breath and shift to your heart.
  • Meditate. Sitting in meditation is a life-line to your center, to the earth. it will ground you when you’ve been struck by a vampire. By calming the mind, you can re-align with your essence. Close your eyes. Focus on your breath. Then gently extend your awareness downward to strata, bedrock, minerals, and soil. From the base of your spine begin to feel a continuity with the earth’s core. Picture having a long tail that roots in that center. Allow the earth’s energy to infuse your body and stabilize you. If you meditate for five minutes or an hour this is sacred time.
  • Walk away. If you feel your energy being zapped don’t hesitate to politely excuse yourself from a killing conversation. Move at least twenty feet from the person, outside the range of his or her energy field. “I have to go to the bathroom” is a foolproof line. Most people are oblivious to how their energy impacts others. For years, reluctant to hurt anyone’s feelings, I needlessly endured these types of situations and suffered. How many of us are so loathe to appear rude that a raving maniac can be right in our face, and still we don’t budge for fear of offending? In a spot, physically removing yourself is a sure quick solution.
  • Build an energy shield around you. When you’re with vampires you can’t get away from visualize a protective shield of while light surrounding every inch of you. This lets positive energy in, but keeps negative energy out-particularly efficient for vampires at family dinners or social events where you’re trapped.

And so here comes the big question is how? As an empath, how can you put yourself first and still feel like you are helping others in a way that feels good? Well, you need to ask yourself why you are helping others in the first place, and if it’s for the best. If you can stay clear and on task with your own goals and dreams, without feeling depleted and obligated by everyone else, then you have a good foundation. But the real truth is that it will always be a tricky balance for an empath.

When your joy comes from helping others, it’s got to be a conscious effort that is different with each person and situation. So for empaths, more than anyone else, it’s critical to eat good, healthy foods, exercise, get enough rest, spend time outdoors and draw a clear line with others emotionally. And most importantly, spend time alone. It’s not being rude or selfish, it’s critical to your own personal health and well-being.

“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in, forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day, you shall begin it well and serenely.” Emerson