The Art Of Forgiveness | The Most Precious Gift To Yourself

gift-of-forgiveness

I am the first to admit it – I let things fester, unnecessarily, to the point where I lose sleep, and dwell on things.  I get to the point where I attach all memories to a specific event, or person and I only see negative.  It turns all of my acquired human decency in prickly little attitude which takes away my shine.  It turns my happiness into frustration.  It take’s the quality of my joy and turns it into mediocre.  It take’s the authenticity out of me.

The thing about fairness in life, is that it just doesn’t happen.  You can take a look at your past and all the events that have bothered you to all different degree’s and you will learn, from your continued life experiences, that it just doesn’t happen.

There have been situations where I have sat there, literally for day’s, month’s, or in certain circumstances, years and thought that what someone has done to me has been so unfair.  No one in their wildest imagination would see their actions towards me justified by any means. I do tend to distance myself from people who hurt me, physically… but letting go and keeping your distance, mentally, is something that takes a little more discipline.

unforgiveness

Do I believe in Karma?  Yes.  Did any of these individuals ever get what I felt they justly deserved to come back to them for treating me a certain way?  No.

Being imprisoned by these hurtful actions does not do anything except lock you into an emotional prison where you are left trapped, and unable to move forward in your own journey.

Don’t lose your joy.  Don’t function as a mediocre being when you try so hard to shine each and every day.

All the years you have waited for them to “make it up to you” and all the energy you expended trying to make them change (or make them pay) kept the old wounds from healing and gave pain from the past free rein to shape and even damage your life. And still they may not have changed. Nothing you have done has made them change. Indeed, they may never change. Inner peace is found by changing yourself, not the people who hurt you. And you change yourself for yourself, for the joy, serenity, peace of mind, understanding, compassion, laughter, and bright future that you get.”

Lewis B. Smedes 

The Art of Forgiving: When You Need To Forgive And Don’t Know How

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Patience Is A Virtue: A Mommies Point Of View

motherhood

Patience: The ability to wait something out or endure something tedious without getting riled up. Having patience is the ability to remain calm. It involves acceptance and tolerance.

It sounds so easy, yet patience is something that I never understood the depths of until becoming a mother.

In 2011 I was in conversation with a friend of my husbands, an slightly older fellow, who has a son of his own that is well into his adult years. The first thing he told us after congratulating us on our ‘big news’ was that we would ‘now know the true meaning of patience’. Boy, did he ever pick up a thing or two during his journey as a father!

I love my son dearly. He is my bright shining sun on a dark cloudy day. There are no words to describe the love I have towards him!   Please allow me to introduce you to the true meaning of patience, or how I have come to know it in my own personal world over the past 19 months.

Patience is sleeping on the wood floor of your childs bedroom all night long because your son wants to hold your hand as he sleeps. Patience is drowning out the mentally exhausting screams and cries of a child who thinks his life is in ruins because he cannot quite grasp the concept of asking mommy to pass him a toy he cannot reach, or does not understand that when another child just grabs a toy that it is not right to grab it back. Patience is having to get up off the toilet because your son is new to potty training and decides that he wants to “pooh-pooh” at the same time as your first potty break of the day in your one bathroom apartment….you know he won’t “go”, but you don’t want to deny him the opportunity. Afterall, you’ve taught him to tell you that he needs the potty when his body tells him he has to “go” to the bathroom.

Before having a child I would have described patience as waiting in a line up that seems to never end, or driving behind someone who cannot seem to figure out that the gas pedal actually controls the speed of the car.

Exhausted from horrible sleep I hear empathy screaming at the top of its lungs to me, “hey!  you there?  … while you’re busy being tired and exhausted what about your son and his feelings?” My subconscious was right. What exactly did my son see through his eyes when I was busy enduring the tedious, remaining calm & accepting, and tolerant?  Indeed, he was busy learning the values of humanity that would define his own character in the years to come.

What my son saw was a lesson in devotion, and caring; He saw a mother who stood by his side during the night. He loved her so much that he wanted her to be there every wink he took to peek at her during the night. He was showing me that he cared. He was showing me appreciation.   He was learning a lesson in respect; by politely asking for a toy that he couldn’t reach, or learning how to share with someone who he doesn’t even know. He was learning a lesson in independence; learning when his body needs the potty and asking for help to do so – showing me that my hard work and dedication was paying off.

As a mother, the definition of patience does not mean waiting or enduring. To me, patience has meant learning. Lessons for both my son and I that are not easily taught. Traits that are developed over time through the interactions of the world. Valuable lessons that both of us will use or cherish for the rest of his lives. My son taught me the real meaning of patience, and for that I will forever remain grateful to him.