The Art Of Forgiveness | The Most Precious Gift To Yourself

gift-of-forgiveness

I am the first to admit it – I let things fester, unnecessarily, to the point where I lose sleep, and dwell on things.  I get to the point where I attach all memories to a specific event, or person and I only see negative.  It turns all of my acquired human decency in prickly little attitude which takes away my shine.  It turns my happiness into frustration.  It take’s the quality of my joy and turns it into mediocre.  It take’s the authenticity out of me.

The thing about fairness in life, is that it just doesn’t happen.  You can take a look at your past and all the events that have bothered you to all different degree’s and you will learn, from your continued life experiences, that it just doesn’t happen.

There have been situations where I have sat there, literally for day’s, month’s, or in certain circumstances, years and thought that what someone has done to me has been so unfair.  No one in their wildest imagination would see their actions towards me justified by any means. I do tend to distance myself from people who hurt me, physically… but letting go and keeping your distance, mentally, is something that takes a little more discipline.

unforgiveness

Do I believe in Karma?  Yes.  Did any of these individuals ever get what I felt they justly deserved to come back to them for treating me a certain way?  No.

Being imprisoned by these hurtful actions does not do anything except lock you into an emotional prison where you are left trapped, and unable to move forward in your own journey.

Don’t lose your joy.  Don’t function as a mediocre being when you try so hard to shine each and every day.

All the years you have waited for them to “make it up to you” and all the energy you expended trying to make them change (or make them pay) kept the old wounds from healing and gave pain from the past free rein to shape and even damage your life. And still they may not have changed. Nothing you have done has made them change. Indeed, they may never change. Inner peace is found by changing yourself, not the people who hurt you. And you change yourself for yourself, for the joy, serenity, peace of mind, understanding, compassion, laughter, and bright future that you get.”

Lewis B. Smedes 

The Art of Forgiving: When You Need To Forgive And Don’t Know How

10 Reasons Why Losing Your Sh*t Will Make Your Life Come Together

Being optimistic in life is a beautiful thing, but just like your weekend Fireball shots, it works best in moderation.

Monday through Friday, 9 am to 5 pm, we play the roles of happy, positive, outgoing people, who don’t get fazed by life’s occasional sh*ttiness.

We pretend every challenge is a non-existent ploy to throw us off of our games, and we continue keeping our heads well above the water. Well, sometimes, the best thing to do is let ourselves sink.

10. Your breaking point is your solo journey. No outside feedback allowed.

What happens to you when you break down is your own journey, and if part of that journey is hung up on what other people think and advise, you need to walk away immediately and shut the door.

Our entire lives are based on outside feedback and contributions that were never truly welcome in the first place. Why let someone else’s opinions dictate your life, especially now?

When you feel like you’ve reached a breaking point, something beautiful happens: You begin to listen to yourself, your own truth and your own suffering — that’s where healing begins.


9. Giving yourself time first is never a selfish act.

Losing your sh*t forces you to detach from things and people who no longer serve you. Disconnecting becomes that much easier because you’re finally thinking about yourself, and you don’t feel one bit selfish.

Hold on to that feeling. Taking care of yourself, for the first time in a long time, is the best thing you can give yourself. Don’t apologize for it.


8. Don’t cover up your sadness with an even sadder version of happiness.

Throw optimism out. If you feel like sh*t, admit it. Don’t walk around on eggshells. What are you protecting yourself from?

Yes, sometimes everything sucks. To try and justify that with a lame excuse or cover it up and remain positive is to push that restless feeling even further down. Sit with it. Let it sink in, and understand it’s all happening for a reason.


7. Don’t apologize.

You’re not broken; you’re simply out of order. Don’t apologize for that.

We’re not machines that keep going no matter what. We have feelings, emotions, problems and thoughts that sometimes spiral out of control. We need time to reevaluate, rethink and regroup. We need time to heal.

There will always be people in your life who expect you to keep moving forward, even when the thought of doing so depresses the hell out of you.

Don’t apologize to them for not living up to their expectations. Take the time you need to figure out if those expectations have any room in your life (they most likely won’t).


6. Remain where you are. There is no due date.

You can go through the motions, but if you’ve reached the point where all you want to do is snuggle up with your dog and cry, then do that! Don’t feel like you have to rush back to this super-important life and live. You are living!

Losing your sh*t is living, and while it might not be fun, it’s damn important. We think if we’re not working, studying, driving or vacationing, we’re not living. Doing nothing is a part of life.

Hitting rock bottom is that cruel part of life that teaches you that all of the working and driving and “living” is nothing compared to what you need to do with your life in this present moment. Just be.


5. Let it out.

Cuss, yell, cry, journal, talk to yourself. When you break down, your heart is full of emotion. Your mind, on the other hand, is full of words. Those words are like anchors that weigh you down to the bottomless pits of crap.

There is no reason in the world why you should hold on to them. When you verbally speak your problems, your body releases tension like you’ve never felt before. It can be incredibly difficult to speak your truth.

There are thoughts in your head you’ve hidden from yourself for years. Confronting them won’t be easy, but speaking them out loud will release you from the prison you think you’re in. It turns out, you’ve had the key to that prison all along.


4. Stop thinking in future time.

There is no better way to make yourself feel even sh*ttier than to try and figure out your future steps. Don’t crowd your mind. What will happen in the future will happen, no matter how hard you try to control it.

When you push yourself to the next step, next goal and next future event, you take yourself out of the present moment. After all, at the end of the day, all you have left is the present.


3. Feel what it feels like to be vulnerable.

From personal experience, feeling vulnerable can be extremely scary. That’s the point. When you’ve hit your low, the layers of pretending start to fall away.

You’re no longer the strong, independent, logical person you once were. You’re now an emotionally-overwhelmed puddle of tears who has no strength or desire to please anyone else but yourself.

Being vulnerable means being open, honest and exposed. It means not holding on to any preconceived notion of what you think you should be and, most importantly, not giving a flying f*ck about what anyone else thinks of you.


2. Believe that even this happens for a beautiful reason.

Nothing is accidental. When you think you’ve lost everything you’ve known, you somehow gain something you never knew you needed.

It’s easy to get wrapped up in concerns and worries, but to have faith in the bigger picture means you’re willing to surrender your sorrows because you’ve done the best you can.


1. Find beauty in the breakdown.

It’s there. It always is. It’s not about replacing sadness with happiness. It’s about acknowledging and welcoming the sadness because you’re human and it’s f*cking okay to not be okay sometimes.

Losing control and falling apart can be a true blessing when you realize we’re not meant to control or stay intact forever. Sometimes, falling apart helps you put the pieces back together in a different order and find peace you didn’t see before.

Original Source;  http://elitedaily.com/life/10-reasons-losing-sht-will-make-life-come-together/923981/