Takeaway Truth: A Lesson in “Self Love”

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Over the years i’ve seen many people looking “outside” for what they thought, or felt should be felt on the inside.  If that doesn’t make sense let me put it this way.  Self-pity.  Simple, yet very direct, and possibly hurtful words for the sensitive at heart.

I do not understand where it is taught, or where it is picked up from.  I don’t remember it being a subject in school, or a conversation amongst friends in previous conversations .. however we all seem to develop it to some extent/degree over time … it may not always be there, but it’s lurking .. waiting for its chance to pop out at your most vulnerable and say “hey you! It’s been a long time .. we should go out for a drink and catch up!”

Do you remember the saying, “If you want something done, do it yourself” … I do.  It was usually me saying it when my husband decides to selectively not hear my requests … after all, everything I request is urgent, you know!! HA!

In context to my image posted above, I used the analogy in the last paragraph to explain how we should be looking inwards in order to find our encouragement, our desires, our “pat on the back”, so to speak.  Self Love.

It is too apparent that we like to blame the “outside” for things that don’t feel right, or things that don’t go our way.   When I say, “If you want something done, do it yourself” I truly mean this from my heart.  What no one really genuinely realizes -from the beginning – is that WE have the power all along.  We have the gift to say, “this is not how my story is going to end”.  WE have the biggest cheering section for our own personal team .. “WE”, as in “I ALONE”!

I really feel that if people began to take responsibility for their actions, for their feelings, and ultimately their lives they would realize that everything they want is in the palm of their hands.  The great outlook on life, the warm fuzzy feeling you feel when things go right, everything in life is a result of what you want, and act upon.  Do you love yourself enough?

If you are not happy with your current circumstances you should not look outside trying to find a “blame”, or a “quick fix” .. look inside.  Take a look at the decisions you are making on a daily basis … are you appreciating yourself,  are you making the best decisions for your future?  Peel back the layers and begin removing each element.  Is this something positive in your life, or something negative that you could do without.  It’s called “self-love”.  Love yourself enough to give only the best to you. If you want something done, you must do it yourself …  It starts with you, and ends with you.

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I Am The Decisive Element

I read a quote today that will forever change my life;

“I have come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element. It is my personal approach that creates the climate. It is my daily mood that makes the weather. I possess tremendous power to make life miserable or joyous.” ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Perspective, that’s really all life is about.  I mean, there are the people who dwell on the misery that life hands us, and there are the opportunists who find the great and wonderful in even the darkest days.  The choice is yours.

For many years I lived life in a very grey area.  A self proclaimed “realist” … I made my way through tough times, and enjoyed my days when they were full of sunshine.  This area of grey became rather annoying to me because it always seemed like I was on an emotional roller coaster … never knowing what was coming my way.

In 2006 I met the love of my life.  My girlfriend and I were standing in the airport … waiting… our flight to our sunny destination was cancelled .. a grey day!  A conversation began with the people standing beside us that would change my life forever – I met the love of my life.

The way I see it is that there is a reason for everything- the good, the bad, & the ugly.  Every situation, every circumstance is paving way for a route that your particular story is supposed to move towards.

The moral – to embrace the “now”.  Live in the moment, enjoy the good and the bad because each element brings something into your life; a lesson, a thought, a new path.  If things are going bad, it won’t last … and if things are going fantastic, it won’t last either.  Go with the flow and learn to find the “great” in ever situation.  Doing so will make life a little more balanced, and in the end you learn to appreciate everything for what it is, at face value.  Life really is great!  The good, the bad, and the ugly!

In Life You Don’t Receive What You Want, You Receive What You Need

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One of the many things i’ve slowly learned over time is how my prayer are answered – once I understood and appreciated what it was that I was receiving, that is.

Our blessings come in many shapes and forms.  The devoted husband, the loving children, the abundance of family and friends of great quality.  The list is enormous and never ending.

I remember reading this years ago – which is when I finally had an epiphany.  God was giving me everything I needed in my life all along … I just had to open my eyes to see, understand the gift I was being given, and appreciate what it was I needed even if I had not yet figured out what its purpose was – not why I was not getting what I wanted.

Years ago, I asked God to give me a spouse. “You don’t own because you didn’t ask” God said.

Not only I asked for a spouse but also explained what kind of spouse I wanted. I want a nice, tender, forgiving, passionate, honest, peaceful, generous, understanding, pleasant, warm, intelligent, humorous, attentive, compassionate and truthful. I even mentioned the physical characteristics I dreamt about.

As time went by I added the required list of my wanted spouse. One night, in my prayer, God talked to my heart: “My servant, I cannot give you what you want.”

I asked, “Why God?” and God said “Because I am God and I am fair. God is the truth and all I do are true and right.”

I asked “God, I don’t understand why I cannot have what I ask from you?”

God answered, “I will explain. It is not fair and right for Me to fulfill your demand because I cannot give something that is not your own self.

It is not fair to give someone who is full of love to you if sometimes you are still hostile, or to give you someone generous but sometimes you can be cruel, or someone forgiving; however, you still hide revenge, someone sensitive; however, you are very insensitive….”

He then said to me: “It is better for Me to give you someone who I know could grow to have all qualities you are searching rather than to make you waste your time to find someone who already have the qualities you want.

Your spouse would be bone from your bone and flesh from your flesh and you will see yourself in her and both of you will be one. Marriage is like a school. It is a life-long span education. It is where you and your partner make adjustment and aim not merely to please each other, but to be better human beings and to make a solid teamwork.

I do not give you a perfect partner, because you are not perfect either. I give you a partner with whom you would grow together”

Author Unknown

Day after day the world is constantly providing us everything we need in order to have a wonderful and fulfilling life … whether or not you see it, or learn from it is up to you.  When we put our everyday lives into perspective we learn to appreciate the good, the bad & the ugly … each and every item has its purpose in our lives.  Embrace it!

Be Patient ….

“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.”

― Rainer Maria Rilke

Prologue; The Curious Case of Who I am …

Sitting in the middle of laundry, a crying baby, a barking dog … I sit myself down for a much needed break and think to myself, “What should I do with these 5 minutes” .. after all, 5 minutes is equivalent to an hour when you reside with a toddler!  Let’s blog!

I’ve seen blogs, read blogs, been inspired by a few blogs…  how hard can it be?  LOL!!  I won’t even begin to tell you how long it took me to write the first paragraph.  I believe I lost my imagination, and creativity somewhere between working full time, and going to school – or wait, perhaps it was in between getting married and my first child? … I can’t recall, but i’m not even 100% sure you can “technically” lose something like that … nonetheless it needs finding.

Ultimately, this blog is going to be for me.  An outlet to express, or vent (depending on my day).  A resource to share my stories of being a wife, a mother, a friend and finding me.  A silent partner along for the ride in my journey to finding my happily ever after!  Please fasten your seatbelt … this could be a bumpy ride!