With each year, as we approach the closing of the year, we begin to reflect on life reminiscing about the past years adventure, contemplating the things that we had hoped to experience, or move away from. Every year is the same story – we have 365 days to try to get it right. Some of us go full force with guns blazing, and others of us get sidetracked, or simply give up. Unsuccessful, you learn to accept that some challenges were not met head on, and prioritize them into your current set of goals in the new year to come.
Every year I have the intention to work on “me” – convincing myself to let go of things that hurt or caused me to feel in a negative manner, and figure out better, more cathartic methods, of trying to overcome obstacles in my life.
The past few years have been devoted to learning how to balance family, friends, and my career. It has not been easy. Each day I work through how to put 150% effort into each of these really important things in my life … there never seems to be a cut and dry answer, and sadly when I do have days when I feel like life is feeling balanced, and my efforts are evenly distributed amongst my family, friends, and career, I find that the one thing I do forget about is myself.
My goals for the past year included finding a job that I dreamed of – being in an environment that I not only loved, but felt comfortable, challenged, and motivated. I wanted a job I was passionate about, and not just a job that I would “settle” at.
My family goals were to be a better mother, and wife – which, I am still not sure exactly what that means. Does that mean I smile more so than not? or am I just never grumpy, or bitchy towards my husband?
My friends goal was to weed out the manipulative, negative, and hurtful persons, and get closer to the ones that I felt had a more authentic, genuine, and loyal persona. The biggest challenge over the past two years was being disappointed in people’s expectations of me, and individuals lack of loyalty and respect towards the friendships that I shared with them. I am sensitivite to things that are said to me, or behind my back. I am an emotional being, as most of us are, and have let things take effect on me far more than they ever had the right to be in my world. Slowly I am learning that i’ve kept far too many negative people in my life for much longer than they should have ever been there for. It wasn’t “them” that was doing something to me, it was “me” allowing these individuals the “right” to be in my world. Unlearning the rule of “be nice to everyone” was difficult because I felt that it was going against all of what I knew to be “right” – what God taught, what elders preached.
Did I get it right last year? when I sit here and write out my view on where I started, and ended in 2015 I feel like there was a progression. But do I feel 100% satisfied? No. I think that goals are great, and working on creating a better, positive, and more fulfilling life, in general, is a healthy thing to desire. There is nothing wrong with wanting the best for yourself. It is not selfish when you want the best version of your life – creating this will make you a better person in return. There is always room for improvement, and that is one of the beautiful things about this life – we have the right to create our own choices – our own path, and our own destination.
Each year we have the chance to start over again, to move forward from the hurt, the lessons, the challenges, and try to do it right. Celebrate the accomplishments you made this year, and reevaluate where you would want to be a year from now. Hold yourself accountable for what you want in your life, and make it happen. In a few days you will be able to close the door on this chapter, and move forward into the next. What you choose to bring with you is up to you – take life lightly, love with all of your will, and remember to make yourself a priority in 2016 xo