Do you ever have those days where no matter how hard you try, no matter how many positive affirmations you mumble under your breath, no matter how many minute of silence you sit in meditation, no matter how many ways you look at a situation … it’s just an “off” day?
A few months ago I found myself pulled into some involuntary drama. It wasn’t out of anything less than support for my best friend as she found out her husband was cheating on her. Needless to say I was there, without any hesitation, for weeks and weeks of crying and figuring where her life would go from there. I support her no matter what but boy oh boy was I left feeling like I was mentally drained, in emotional chaos, and in a huge bundle of mess that I didn’t even know how to begin to evacuate these negative feelings.
Was it because I had previously gone thru the same issue in past relationships, was it that I was that empathetic that I could feel her emotions? I don’t know, all I know is that I felt drained and it’s a rut that has taken a long time to get out of – months. I feel like I am still being pulled under the current … not a specific reason, or something I can place my finger on … it’s just a feeling of negativity, lonliness and sorrow that stemmed from the beginning of those specific events.
One could argue that at seven months pregnant my hormones would be the culprit for this one … but nah, that wouldn’t be fair to blame as I should be in charge of my mental state, right?
I saw a post today and it resonated with me … I felt that it was the higher beings way of saying, “Hey, you … stop being so damn selfish. Snap out of your mood and put on your big girl pants. Your life is great – take a look”… and in an instance I had to agree with my subconcious … it was right … again!
I have a loyal and devoted husband. Albeit I could argue endlessly about his domestic capabilities, but that’s a battle not worth fighting in the grand scheme of things. I have a son, so innocent, that loves me without boundaries. I am his all, and everything… and I have a loyal dog, and a beautiful baby boy on the way! What more could a girl ask for, really!
I read this, and I say to myself. Pink is my favorite colour. Life is good. I have all I could possibily need in the form of my family. I don’t need anything else in this world in order to survive because I have everything that money cannot buy, and I am one lucky girl!
Today, I will walk outside, breath in the fresh air and thank god that I have my family, my health, and my life. I will pull myself out of this rut and remind myself of who I am, and where I want to be. Im living it, right now, and that’s more than enough for me to be thankful for!